1. Tell us about yourself.
I am Swee Yan, 21 years old and an
undergraduate at the NUS Faculty of Law. I have been in a relationship for
over four years. This is my first relationship.
2. What is the main criteria you're looking for in a life partner?
My dream life partner should be one who will be
able to keep me blissful and happy now and forever; one who strikes at the
chords of my heart such that I have the continuous urge to love and care for
him and vice versa.
3. Many women believe that “most men who are in a relationship tend to
stray when an opportunity presents itself.” Should a woman resign to that or
is there anything she can do to prevent her partner from straying?
Whether or not your life partner would stray
depends on whether you have found the right guy with the right mindset and
values as you. I believe that if you find a guy who loves his family and has
strong family values, he will never stray; of course that is provided that
you also have the same strong family values.
4. What do you think are the key ingredients of a happy relationship?
Never assume things before getting the correct
details (for e.g. lamenting that he does not spend his free day with you
when he has actually used it to prepare a gift for you as a surprise); never
be ashamed to apologize and make up even if you were not totally in the
wrong; never let yourself be overly concerned about materialistic issues but
stick together through thick and thin.
5. What is your definition of a good lover?
One who loves me as much as I love him; “two
hearts beating as one” such that he is part of me as much as I am part of
6. How will you advise a 30 year old lady, who has been single all her
life, who is now wishing to find a life partner?
Don’t be afraid to find your true love. You
don’t have to be dating a lot of men to find your true love. Being single
all your life doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes to find a good man.
It just means that you have had reservations and there are good reasons for
that. Don’t pick hastily; take your time. But don’t be afraid to take the
first step forward if necessary.
7. Some guys are just stingy when it comes to dating. In your opinion, if
a guy is so stingy as not to even bring his girlfriend to have a good dinner
once in a while, what are your thoughts?
Seriously, I don’t mind as long as he is stingy
for a good reason; for e.g. saving up for marriage and our future. I
wouldn’t want my boyfriend to splurge on a meal for no reason. After all,
what matters is the company; not the food! But I think the guy should at
least put in some effort to make the girl happy; treating her to a decent
meal on special occasions keeps her emotionally happy because it shows that
he is willing to spend on her and take good care of her.
8. If a girl realizes that her boyfriend has been two-timing her all this
while, how would you advise her to approach this
I would advise her to make a clean break with
the guy. If he has two timed once, what makes her so sure that he wouldn’t
do it again? That guy obviously does not have strong family values.
9. To most, sex is an inseparable part of “love”. How should a girl
ensure that in a relationship, the physical component does not supercede the
Never say yes if you really don’t want to. What
is most important is that the girl and guy discuss the physical limits that
neither should cross. Communication is the key; never be shy to talk about
10. Share with us some good ways on how to make a clean break with an
There is no necessity to hurt his/her feelings;
especially if you are the one who has had a change of heart. Tell him/her
the truth (that he/she is not who you really want to spend the rest of your
life with), and wish him/her all the best in finding his/her true love. Give
him/her some time to get over it, but don’t ever give him/her false hopes of
reconciliation by inappropriate gestures and actions.
11. What do you think of Love Clinic or our newsletter?
Love Clinic is a good platform to let people
share ideas on how to spice up their relationship. It is a useful guide to
maintain and build strong relationships. In fact, it has been useful for me
personally; the self made love coupons (which I picked up from your
e-newsletter) that I gave to my boyfriend two years ago for Valentine’s Day
lit his whole face up and touched him so much. Thanks Love Clinic!
12. Any final word or advice for our readers?
Stay positive; always believe that true love
exists. Most importantly, choose wisely and stay loyal to your decision.