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"Stay positive ; always believe that true love exists."

Swee Yan

Real Interviews

The Love Clinic Team interviewed Ms Swee Yan,  a charming young lady for her views on dating and relationships.
 
Swee Yan, 21

Undergraduate

1. Tell us about yourself.

I am Swee Yan, 21 years old and an undergraduate at the NUS Faculty of Law. I have been in a relationship for over four years. This is my first relationship.


2. What is the main criteria you're looking for in a life partner?

My dream life partner should be one who will be able to keep me blissful and happy now and forever; one who strikes at the chords of my heart such that I have the continuous urge to love and care for him and vice versa.


3. Many women believe that “most men who are in a relationship tend to stray when an opportunity presents itself.” Should a woman resign to that or is there anything she can do to prevent her partner from straying?

Whether or not your life partner would stray depends on whether you have found the right guy with the right mindset and values as you. I believe that if you find a guy who loves his family and has strong family values, he will never stray; of course that is provided that you also have the same strong family values.


4. What do you think are the key ingredients of a happy relationship?

Never assume things before getting the correct details (for e.g. lamenting that he does not spend his free day with you when he has actually used it to prepare a gift for you as a surprise); never be ashamed to apologize and make up even if you were not totally in the wrong; never let yourself be overly concerned about materialistic issues but stick together through thick and thin.


5. What is your definition of a good lover?

One who loves me as much as I love him; “two hearts beating as one” such that he is part of me as much as I am part of him.


6. How will you advise a 30 year old lady, who has been single all her life, who is now wishing to find a life partner?

Don’t be afraid to find your true love. You don’t have to be dating a lot of men to find your true love. Being single all your life doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes to find a good man. It just means that you have had reservations and there are good reasons for that. Don’t pick hastily; take your time. But don’t be afraid to take the first step forward if necessary.


7. Some guys are just stingy when it comes to dating. In your opinion, if a guy is so stingy as not to even bring his girlfriend to have a good dinner once in a while, what are your thoughts?

Seriously, I don’t mind as long as he is stingy for a good reason; for e.g. saving up for marriage and our future. I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to splurge on a meal for no reason. After all, what matters is the company; not the food! But I think the guy should at least put in some effort to make the girl happy; treating her to a decent meal on special occasions keeps her emotionally happy because it shows that he is willing to spend on her and take good care of her.


8. If a girl realizes that her boyfriend has been two-timing her all this while, how would you advise her to approach this
problem?

I would advise her to make a clean break with the guy. If he has two timed once, what makes her so sure that he wouldn’t do it again? That guy obviously does not have strong family values.


9. To most, sex is an inseparable part of “love”. How should a girl ensure that in a relationship, the physical component does not supercede the emotional component?

Never say yes if you really don’t want to. What is most important is that the girl and guy discuss the physical limits that neither should cross. Communication is the key; never be shy to talk about it.


10. Share with us some good ways on how to make a clean break with an unsuitable partner.

There is no necessity to hurt his/her feelings; especially if you are the one who has had a change of heart. Tell him/her the truth (that he/she is not who you really want to spend the rest of your life with), and wish him/her all the best in finding his/her true love. Give him/her some time to get over it, but don’t ever give him/her false hopes of reconciliation by inappropriate gestures and actions.
 

11. What do you think of Love Clinic or our newsletter?

Love Clinic is a good platform to let people share ideas on how to spice up their relationship. It is a useful guide to maintain and build strong relationships. In fact, it has been useful for me personally; the self made love coupons (which I picked up from your e-newsletter) that I gave to my boyfriend two years ago for Valentine’s Day lit his whole face up and touched him so much. Thanks Love Clinic!
 

12. Any final word or advice for our readers?

Stay positive; always believe that true love exists. Most importantly, choose wisely and stay loyal to your decision.

 

 

 
 

 

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