Ask Dr Love
In Love With Someone Attached
Dear Dr Love,
I was recently heartbroken because my friend, whom I had feelings for, is now in a relationship with someone I know. She says that she doesn't love him, but she likes him. I had already told her that I love her, but she said that she only sees me as a friend. We were intimate in the past, but she says that's only because she liked me a little bit, and she only saw me as a friend. But for some reason, my mind tells me to still go after her.
After all, she doesn't love him, and it's only been six days since they've been together. She said the relationship is still unstable, and it's still weak. What should I do? My heart tells me to go after her despite the fact that she doesn't feel the same, but if there is any glimmer of hope..... I love her so much. The whole thought of being without her makes me sad. What can I do?
Lee3d
Dr Love’s Reply
Dear Lee3d,
It's a little strange that a new relationship is unstable, because relationships are usually strongest when they first begin. But since she told you that her relationship is not steady yet, I suppose there's a chance that she may fall in love with someone else who catches her eye. I can understand that you love her very much, and in such a case it may be worthwhile to give a try. Ask her out for a meal or coffee, and tell her again how much you love her and ask her why she thinks you are not suitable as her boyfriend. She may have her own special reasons why she chose him instead of you. But do not appear too desperate, because girls don't like guys who are "hungry and desperate".
If she persistently rejects you, don't despair. She's not the only girl in this world. Give yourself some time to get over her, and move on. I'm sure there are many other girls who are suitable for you once you start looking. It'd be helpful to attend all your friends' outings, parties and other social functions to increase your
opportunities of finding your dream girl.
All the best.